I have been so obsessed with the global food crisis resulting from our farmland turnover to crops for environmentally and financially devastating corn-based ethanol that I completely forget there was some winnin’ to be done in the matter of some free books, to the tune of 47 votes! Damn, people. (Who knew that the practice of critics who commence book reviews with a little self-serving throat-clearing was so crucially required in our lexicon?)
Anyway, as you will recall, we had many wonderful entries, but at the end it came down to 4: Autograf, Mon Sequitur, Anec-gloat, and I-gression. I must confess that I am most fond of “Anec-gloat,” but unlike our energy-greedy government, I work for you.
As of this writing, however, we have a tie! Mon Sequitur and I-gression are running neck and neck. I remember when I was a freshman at Yale coming off a National Merit Scholarship, we had a similar problem. I believe what I did then was flip a coin. And the winner is….(this is real-time)
Mon Sequitur!
As it happens this is convenient for me, as the winner lives a few streets over and can pick up the prize himself, saving us all some corn-based ethanol. Congrats to the runner-up, who I believe coined the other miraculously crucial term Penvy. It’s a race to the UD.
Posted by altehaggen in General @ Friday, April 11, 2008 1:03 pm | |
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We know, we know. It gets boring with the Hag. First, we’re “working”. Then, we’re “moving”. Then, for chrissakes–WE’RE MOVING AGAIN.* Through it all, it’s too much for us TO FREAKING BLOG ONCE EVERY EIGHT WEEKS OR SO. What can we say? We’ve been on the radio (scroll down and left), we’ve been reviewing (do it again), we have–we repeat–been “working”, we have been being a NEW AUNT, and it has become necessary, due to recent iTunes downloads, to spend a great deal of time here. (Speaking of which, are we the ONLY one to notice that the theme accompanying Kate-centered moments is an homage to Vertigo, and, incidentally, an exact replica of a leitmotif used in What Lies Beneath, which at least openly acknowledges its debt to Hermann? Anyone? Anyone?)
Anyway, since we’re getting rid of at least this many books in anticipation of a safe estimate of our post-Baltimore wall space, we’d like to give our loyal O.H. readers one last taste. Penguin is lovely enough to send us their fantastic list each season, and while we’re going to keep many for review, we still have a ton left over, plus a copy of the new lit mag A Public Space and a tote bag from same. We’ve been completely stumped on what kind of contest would be most suited to a move (we know we can’t hope for Urban Dictionary nods EVERY TIME), so we’ve just decided, apropos of our theme ear worm above, to go with lines from books (or movies, you lazy-asses) you’ve never been able to get out of your head. As in our first, best cry-list, we only want the line that pops into your head immediately. We’re not looking for great lines, particularly–no, “Yes to yes” or “stalks like the fingers of dead men”–just, for lack of a better word, linear worms. Think of it as a space to pass your worms on. How often do you get that chance? We know some of you have it every Tuesday in a certain rest stop in New Jersey, but leave some for the rest of us.
Here’s ours–inexplicably, from Terms of Endearment.
Emma Greenway: “I’ve finally found an answer to this hair nobody ever liked,” she said. “Radium is the answer.”*
There you are. Completely inexplicable, yet absolutely entrenched. Radium is the answer.
CONTEST RULES: Contest runs until midnight Friday, 9/8/2006. Big box of new, fab books absolutely gratis to winner.* Props to Penguin, which has launched an unprecedented era of fabulous reprints, and A Public Space, which has launched that rare bird: a good literary magazine. Some Litbloog Coop picks in there, too. You can enter anonymously, but if you win, you have to email us on the sly to claim your prize, since we are not psychic. Enter in the comments below, and, fellow litbloggers and bloggerati, spread the word–we NEED to get rid of these books!
* Oh, yes. We return to the big NY in late September. References required.
** Please don’t be from Europe. We mean, you can be, but try not to.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Sunday, September 3, 2006 12:35 pm | |
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Today’s reading: Sing it With Us: LAI-LA-A-A! (Don’t know WTF this is about? Click here.)
This is, as a boss used to say so often it became a handy way to think of her as well, a no-brainer. Laila is a friend and one of our favorite bloggers, and we have no qualms about happily shilling for her on our site. Not that she needs it. If you don’t win the book, beg for it, borrow it, steal it — best, buy it.
Laila’s comix pick for the Litblog Coop may not have won, but it was our second choice after our own, which, of course, beat everyone else’s. (Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Finally, we triumph! See below.) You can read Laila discuss her choice on the Litblog Co-op’s site here.
Theme: It’s Not Easy Being Green
You are jealous of Laila. OH, SHUT UP YES YOU ARE. She is beautiful, bold, bloggity, and her book is doing spectacularly well. THE RIGHTS HAVE BEEN SOLD TO HARCOURT, FOOL. SHE’S BEEN IN PEOPLE, PEOPLE. Yes, you are happy for her, you’re kvelling, you know her own fame is a wondrous light you may bathe in happily, like a benevolent sun. But you’ve got the Penvy, and you’ve got it bad.
HOWEVER. Penvy is such a small and specific type of jealousy — as the Phrygian mode is to music, say. What we’d like to know is far baser. We’re too far up denial to remember any horrific incidents of our own design, but we do know that our mother once briefly and ultimately harmlessly ground her sister’s face into the sidewalk after someone said the latter was pretty. (To her defense, our mother was only five — and her sister was very pretty.) In short: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone because you were jealous? Did you hire someone to kill them before the cheerleading tryouts? Drown them in a creek because your boyfriend liked them? Do anything else Lifetime-worthy? And let’s get some men in the comments, people. We know you are fond of terming it “the competitive instinct” — and we’re onto you.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Sunday, December 18, 2005 9:00 am | |
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We’ve noticed through our technorati rankings (which we only check five or six times an hour, natch) that we seem to be being read by more poets since the Foetical Brouhaha. [Irritatingly now for-a-charge; we would have swiped the whole thing after a "more" if we had known that would happen.] Anyway, an eagle-eyed, anti-Foetical reader noted that we had an uncomfortably close relationship with the judge of our poetry chapbook contest, namely, that he was our father. Additionally, we were published with him in an anthology and two journals.
Our initial reaction to this revelation is a) bully for us–how awesome that we’re already up in the journals of THE JUDGE, b) no poets read any of the other people in the journal anyway, they just stick it on a shelf so when the husband of your boyfriend’s colleague comes over and is like, “Oh? A poet?” and his eyes glaze over and he starts being like “can you get me another drink,” you can be like, “WITH PERFECT-BOUND PROOF, MOTHERFUCKER”, c) it is customary that poets publish the book in journals before it’s published, and you never know 1) what the judge might have read, or 2) how the judge feels about you being in any journal, including one in which he/her has been included, which he/she probably has in the past, since she/he is the judge and all, and d) we’re really not that close. Also, it’s not like journals have big parties, or, if they do, we were TOTALLY NOT INVITED.
But, in any case, have we been revealed as a Foetical Case? It’s not like the judge is our father or our former mentor. He’s our UNCLE, for Chrissakes. BY MARRIAGE.
Unrelated: Can someone help us with that bug on overflow of HTML in the comments? Also, don’t people wish that in the US, all poets were civil servants like Dennis O’Driscoll? Good health care and endless time to write about your morning commute? Heaven.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Sunday, May 1, 2005 10:09 am | |
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Sorry we were so lame today. We had nothing to say, and will probably have less tomorrow, since we have to mop the apartment and get all our documents in order for this, which we hope will facilitate our applying for grants and residencies and such. Someone just told us that the Peace Corps was a haven for potheads and slackers, and we’re not missing out on any crunked out junkets ever again. If you ever want to apply for anything and get the hell out of your Aeron chair into a less miserable life, we cannot say enough good things about Interfolio, which (we hope) actually makes sending out a full-scale wrap up of your formative years as easy as buying our book on Amazon. *
* Don’t all feel like you should buy our book on Amazon, now. We get nothing. We’re trying to work out some linkola from Interfolio, though, if only because it sounds even dirtier than Penvy. Back Monday, cheers, etc.
Posted by altehaggen in Uncategorized @ Thursday, February 10, 2005 5:05 pm | Tags: Moi |
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We had many, many wonderful entries for our wordfinders battle for the best way to describe “…the wave of nausea that hits you when you read about forthcoming books by people you went to college or even once slept with that came out to great acclaim while you haven’t written anything in….ever,” an expansion of Matt’s search for a word to best describe “…the wave of nausea that hits you when you read about forthcoming bookswritten by the kind of person you’d rather eat broken glass than have to listen to for five minutes.” Top suggestions included “illiteracy,” “Docudrama,” “Badvance,” and two insider coinages, “Publishers Lost Lunch” and “Publishers Weakly.” (One reader, with admirable resignation, simply suggested “Wednesday.”) However, top honors must go to the coinage that, not coincidentally, has already been approved by two famous writers.
PENVY.
Dear lone, unhyperlinked, notsubmittingyouremail “e.” Please write to us at the email address below with your mailing address–or the P.O. box that you quickly acquire to maintain your cherished cloak of anonymity–so that you may receive your reward.
* Honorable mention must go to Jeff for “Vendelavation” n. the act in which one is quite possibly accorded a book deal, or at least paid more than one justly deserves, as a result of the far greater famousness of one’s boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, or spouse [Zadie Smith so Vendelavates Nick Laird]: see JOHN GREGORY DUNNE
** Meta Honorable mention to Jorie for “Jennsylvanity,” n. the state in which one thinks one is being reviled for one’s book deal when in fact everyone is talking about a universal state which applies to writers observing other writers being published which actually may or may not apply to one, until such time as one, having sent one’s friends into other people’s backblogs where they continue to post additional proofs of their misunderstanding, becomes, in fact, reviled: see JENNSYLVANIA
THANKS TO ALL WHO ENTERED!
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Monday, February 7, 2005 9:51 am | |
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