Mockumamas: Our new era of reality pregnancy

When should you have a baby?

I ask not because I am planning one of my own (sorry, Mom!) or because, as I creak over the midpoint of my 30s, I can’t weigh the risks and drawbacks for myself. It’s not even that I care what you think. But between the Superbowl’s controversial Michael Tebow ad, Lifetime’s highest-rated debut ever, The Pregnancy Pact , Rielle Hunter’s very public child-support woes, and a flood of recent other online, onscreen and on-page debates, I’ve finally realized that even if the question is moot (like, twenty years moot), a woman is still expected to offer it up for general discussion.

So, here we go. Just so you know, I’m already up to speed on the major ones. Not if I’m too young. (Covered!) Not if I’m too old. (Oh, no worries! Apparently it’s too late–when you’re over 30, even your eggs fly the coop.)

And here come the more wobbly proscriptions of our modern era. Allegedly not not–prepare the crimson ‘S’!–if you’re single. (See: “Not in the best interests of the child“.) Not if you’re amicably separated. (Unless you’re prepared to be seen as a damsel-in-distress by the entire Western world.) Definitely not when the father of your baby is currently married to someone else. (Here, as far as I can see, mainly because people won’t be able to differentiate that choice from the choice to have the affair.) And not if Scott Brown is anywhere in the vicinity. (Witness the man who used his victory speech to auction off his daughters give a moral-police snort at our President’s mother’s connubial status when she gave birth–which, as it happens, was married.)

But even these are just an offshoot of our culture’s favorite debate about women: how much you need a man, and how bad a person you probably are if you don’t have one. Children simply up the ante, because it’s generally agreed that children fare better in stable households, and it’s easy for the moral police to fudge “stable” to mean “mother and father.” (Don’t be insensible to the powers of such fudging. Well-meaning people tsk-tsk’d about my probable psychological damage as the daughter of one black parent and one white parent my whole life, and Loving v. Virginia only overturned the laws against it 6 years before I was born.)

But only so many people have enough free time to subjugate women and second-guess other people’s parenting on a daily basis. (More than you’d like, but only so many.) Despite the perennial political football Roe v. Wade, the majority of Americans irritatingly persist in thinking other people’s child-bearing and child-rearing choices are basically their own. So what’s a media stalled on Rielle and John’s sex tape and Jon & Kate Plus Eight to do?

If the last few weeks are any indication, it’s to release a veritable Grand Guignol of mother-in-waiting stories, each so grotesque they bypass controversy for straight-up jaw-dropping.

First, Lifetime aired The Pregnancy Pact, the real-life story of a 17 girls at a Gloucester, Mass high school who apparently mutually decided to get pregnant on masse. A harmless piece of puff mainly saved by the presence of a intent and smart Thora Birch, it leaves the viewer mainly feeling that’s what happens in a culture that says you’re too young to have sex at 16 and too old to give birth at 30. (Can you blame them for getting a head start?)

Next, the web series Bump hit the web. A faux-documentary of three real-life women played by C-list actors choosing whether to end or keep their pregnancies, the crowd-sourced, web-based series defies easy definition. (Mockumama?) The series allows commenters to choose what happens in the next episode on the site blog, and so far hundreds seem invested in the performances, which are on the level of your basic Glad Wrap ad. (Though I do love the intensity of  doctor Andray Johnson, going for the Oscar).

Other reality shows are there for perusing. The second season of MTV’s 16 and Pregnant airs next week — and for viewers who missed the first, the general direction can be summed up by the info box that welcomes you on the show’s site. (“Got a question? All About Pregnancy Prevention.”) But the most compelling of all is TLC’s “I’m Pregnant And…” Each week, the ellipsis is replaced by another improbability: Bipolar, Homeless, 55 years old, Addicted. On the bipolar episode, the camera gives a spooky rippling overlay to the scene when a support group wraps the subject in toilet paper, something I would like to think would freak me out too. But it’s a strange moment–who’s turning the helpless subject for their exploitative purposes more–the support group, or TLC itself?

That question is writ large in the controversy approaching during this week’s Superbowl: the Michael Tebow ad, in which the player’s mother, Pam Tebow, discusses keeping her son despite a dangerous illness that threatened her life. Funded by the evangelical group Focus on the Family, the ad drew NOW’s ire, who called on the network to drop the ad. (Planned Parenthood’s Cecile Richard’s wisely followed up with a more crowd-friendly video featuring the Gold medalist Al Joyner and the NFL’s Sean James discussing the power of choice.)

In our reach-across-the-aisle era, it’s very easy to make the argument that these ads–and the flurry of bump-related projects–are simply there to open up the conversation. But here’s another question–why is this a conversation? No one even feels compelled to suggest we’re hearing Pam Tebow’s story or watching “I’m Pregnant and…” without rendering a judgment, that the subject can exist free of agenda. because we’ve come to associate pregnancy by its very nature with judgment. The entire country routinely, like Solomon, feels free to split babies in two from gestation to adulthood,It doesn’t matter whether we win the argument to choose. We’re still losing when it has to be an argument at all.

Bump’s supposedly novel convention–allowing strangers to determine what the women will do about their pregnancies–has been depressingly real for some time.

Posted by altehaggen in General @ Friday, February 5, 2010 3:53 pm | | Comments (0)

Are you looking for more info on “Shelf Discovery”?

shelfdiscoverylittlerrealone

Head to my blog at lizzieskurnick.com. I do post a lot here too, but a) sometimes I forget, because I am old and b) I am currently working on a big essay about the beautiful abandoned lots of Jersey City for THIS blog, which will be wondrous but is probably not what you are presently seeking.

Posted by altehaggen in General @ Saturday, August 1, 2009 12:26 pm | | Comments (2)

I still like to spell it 5%#!$

Come see my friends Michael Taeckens and Maud Newton for the launch of: Housing Works: Events: Love is a Four-Letter Word. (Info if you click; 7 at Housing Works.)

Posted by altehaggen in General @ Wednesday, July 29, 2009 11:30 am | | Comments (1)

BookTour reminder!

I’m at the Tribeca B&N tonight — would be great to see you:

Tuesday, July 28
7:00 PM
Barnes & Noble Tribeca
97 Warren St., NY, NY 10007

via More info and map here.

Posted by altehaggen in General @ Tuesday, July 28, 2009 8:50 am | | Comments (1)

Not least because we both love the word “delightful”

I had so much fun doing this podcast with former YALSA (Young Adult Library Services Association) president, the completely delightful Michael Cart, that I barely let him get a word in edgewise. Things we discussed (as broken down by producer Linda Braun):

  • Shelf Discovery
  • The range of human experience covered in teen novels.
  • How teens read and what they get out of reading realistic fiction.
  • Books including Secret Lives by Bertha Amos, Jacob Have I LovedPhyllis Reynold Naylor’s Alice series, and The Dreadful Future of Blossom Culp.
  • Reasons why novels for girls and women do not receive the respect they deserve.
  • Skurnick’s career & the readership of her Jezebel columns.
  • The future of print reviewing and the changing world of reading in electronic and print formats.

Posted by altehaggen in General @ Saturday, July 25, 2009 9:17 pm | | Comments (0)

Press clippings

Two things:

  • Listen to me on BOB EDWARDS. I say period 600 times.
  • Listen to me on TALK OF THE NATION. I do NOT talk about siblings locked in an attic who sleep together. (Oh, whoops — yes I do.)

In further upcoming podcasts, I discuss Neanderthal rape. No, no — YES I DO. Incoming.

Posted by altehaggen in General @ 12:57 pm | | Comments (4)

Something I’ve been meaning to tell you

A) I’m going to be on TALK OF THE NATION TOMORROW (thursday) for like NINETEEN HOURS with MEG CABOT talking teen! Please listen.

2.) I was on THE BOB EDWARDS show today and we had a delicious time talking about rereads and teens and The Monkey Wrench Gang et al.

3) Reader’s Digest ran a lovely, strangely prose-poem-y rendering of my intro to Shelf Discovery.

ii) I’m not really supposed to link to nice reviews all over as such, but Teenreads really wrote THE LOVELIEST thing on Amazon and I want to link just to thank them.

2.2) Double X ran an excerpt with my piece on Daughters of Eve, with a headline that will seal the deal in my grand campaign to steer away from blind dates.

7) Michael Orthofer wrote a very respectful and thoughtful review with a strangely melancholy interlude on how much I had neglected the male perspective in the book. Men! I did not neglect the male perspective. I just wasn’t thinking of you at all. So, so different.

Posted by altehaggen in General @ Thursday, July 23, 2009 12:21 am | | Comments (0)

Shelf Discovery gets Sirius!

I was on The Bob Edwards Show this morning discussing Shelf Discovery, and I would like to state for the record that I do know boys read, I just still don’t care that they do.

Posted by altehaggen in General @ Wednesday, July 22, 2009 1:37 pm | | Comments (3)

And a little reprint led them…

My book is being published

TOMORROW!

shelfdiscoverylittlerrealone

Please commence acting excited on my behalf, if you have two seconds. For event info, FRIEND ME on Facebook or visit my book’s website. I promise, I will put some stuff up there.

Posted by altehaggen in General @ Monday, July 20, 2009 4:47 pm | | Comments (7)

Steve Jobs, take a bow

My designer got tired of me making fun of either a) iTunes, b) radio 2.0 or (most likely) c) boys and their obsession with DIRECTIONS and kindly directs me:

BTW, you can get iTunes links by right clicking on them and selecting “Copy iTunes Store URL”

One link to me and Scott Westerfeld on Rachel Maddow’s radio show with Ana Marie Cox. I lose; men, Internet, directions win. Enjoy!

Posted by altehaggen in events @ Wednesday, July 15, 2009 3:21 pm | | Comments (1)

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