You know what else would be cool? Some system in which the government would use our tax money for medicine so we could get a prescription for a pill that, when dropped in oil, produced a grilled-cheese sandwich. Get on it.

Posted by Lizzie on 02/22/06

So, this morning we woke up bitterly at the crack of 8 (*ironic*) as usual, once again marveling jealously over our friend who used to happily get up at 6:30 to walk her dog, our father’s need for about four hours of snoozing, and the woman who once LITERALLY dragged us into the office at 8:30 to fire us.* (Seriously–HAVE YOU HEARD OF A POST-IT.) Anyway, for this first time it occured to us how cool it would be to have a pill** that allowed the less easily sleep-refreshed*** among us to experience what it is to not take our waking slow. WELL. Just in on BBC radio: the sleeptracker. If someone would only buy it for us and have it shipped immediately, that would cement our suspicion that we are some sort of demi-god.

* equalled only by the boss who, after a three-month campaign of enthusiastic non-communication, was so pleased with its lack of success that in order to continue denying us “feedback” dragged an HR lady briefly into our meeting to fire us, then said, “Do you have anything you’d like to say?” and when we said, “Well–” cut us off and said, “I don’t think we need to get into a he said-she said,” especially poignant as we were all, to our knowledge, female.
** not speed
*** lazy ass

Filed under: WTF |