Posted by Lizzie on 11/27/06
We have an unconscionable amount of work this week, and not enough black-and-white cookies in the universe to see us through. (Although our street has the bomb ones.)* Those of you who follow our travails also know that all of our stuff is in storage. That’s why we’re asking for your help, meaning, why don’t you get off your lazy asses and do some work around here, FOR ONCE. In honor of the Times Notable Bestest Notable Books Better Than Those Black & White Cookies Even GODDAMNIT, we would like to hear what you thought was the best book of the year, meaning, what should we steal from the piles of review copies lying around the apartment of the guy we’re subletting from.**
And not to get even more touchy feelier than we already are, why don’t you leave us something about yourself–who you are, what brought you to this blog today, who you think would take the crown in Joyce Carol Oates vs. Jonathan Safran Foer, UFC style, three rounds max in the three word name starting with J, second name ‘a’ sound, third name ‘o’ weight class. We’ve never asked you to tell us anything about yourselves, but we finally learned how to scroll through our referrer logs and, frankly, we know much more about you than you want us to already. (Oh, yes, 126.96.36.199, on the Firefox 2.0 platform with 4.67 megabytes of bandwidth–we’re looking at YOU.)***
We won’t be here for a week. Have fun. One woman’s evening hangs in the balance.
UPDATE: A gentle reader suggested it is hopeless for us to ask any of you to lower your exhausted digits onto a keyboard without a sizable carrot at the end of the QWERTY. FINE. Free copy of our favorite book of the year (secret!) to a randomly chosen entrant.
* Last night, we also discovered that you could get off the subway, get a slice of pizza, walk three blocks, decide you needed another slice of pizza because you had not had your daily serving of vegetables, and get a slice of broccoli pizza with ease. It’s not good, when you’re using pizza to get your daily serving of vegetables. On the plus side, it’s not vodka for the carbs. Yet.
** Speaking of the plus side, at a reading for the very talented and kind Stephen Burt, whose work you should examine, we also discovered that, OH YEAH, WE NEED READING GLASSES. This morning, we hit Ctrl+ not once but twice to get our browser text up to speed (tonight we enlarge not once but twice….wouldn’t it be awesome if you could do that for cookies, as well as various other items of import, like pizza and get your mind out the gutter?). Reader, mark this day, this sad day, this day of reckoning. Our masthead is no longer ironic.
*** This referrer log stuff is addictive. Fear not; we really can’t see who you are. HOWEVER, if you come from a law firm or publisher or school or anyone that hosts its own server, we can see that you’re visiting from, say, MIT. (And why are so many of you visiting from MIT? We are not Old Mathematician.) In these cases, we can also usually see the name of the computer, often something engagingly gaming and nerdy like, say, Myth117.
Why are we engaging in this incredibly boring object lesson, you ask? For one reason. The reader from a major publisher (don’t worry, we won’t say which) who has named her computer worstwordho IS OUR NEW HERO.
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