Comments on: We’ll continue parsing keyword strings, whatever happens. Don’t worry–you’re welcome!

By: Old Hag

Old Hag — Fri, 11 May 2007 14:01:28 +0000

[...] the results of our first offical Old Hag Reader Can You Even Handle This Action Survey are in and….wow! You guys absolutely do not have enough to do. You should get on that. But we [...]

By: sklarra

sklarra — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 23:36:50 +0000

Porn and poetry:
I am typing this haiku
With only one hand.

By: cinetrix

cinetrix — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 22:27:55 +0000

And this is why I
opted not to be a damn
litblogger. Perverts.

By: David

David — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 01:53:22 +0000

Some folks are counters;
Other folks are non-counters.
It’s cool, grasshopper.

(and hi, Carrie, hope you’re doing well)

By: lizzie

lizzie — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 01:52:36 +0000

You say it like we're counting cards.

By: CAAF

CAAF — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 01:28:24 +0000

I suspect you and David of counting syllables; are you guys counting syllables? Mine’s only 5/7/5 in the original Japanese.

Ed, I’ll have mine on pumpernickel.

By: altehaggen

altehaggen — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 00:29:08 +0000

You know, I really do rhyme something with K-Y in a syllabic.

I’m not a good person.

By: ed

ed — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 00:23:07 +0000

Of bulbous cocks and breasts flashed once or twice
Whether verbal, visual, even thrice
Ardent license to us, our seed spilled neat
The readers clean, exhume the need to beat
How great this form! Vacillate line sans eight! K-Y!
The safeword’s worth, less Alex and rhino to tie
Bukkake, spurt! Lips blurt! And have them come on rye!

By: David

David — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 23:36:24 +0000

Everyone’s a critic.

By: altehaggen

altehaggen — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 23:34:54 +0000

Okay, I SHOWED it to the guy from the Times, and he said he liked it, except you shouldn’t have two “hot”s so close together.

By: altehaggen

altehaggen — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 23:01:01 +0000

I’ll show it to my friend. He’s the poetry critic for the Times!

By: David

David — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 22:57:15 +0000

“Welcome, visitors,
To ‘The Old Hag,’ your web source
For hot seXXXtinas.”

Nothing better than hot Provencal-on-Japanese verse form action.

By: altehaggen

altehaggen — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 22:33:47 +0000

Whatever we do
We can surely also do
Mostly from behind.

Bien?

By: CAAF

CAAF — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 19:34:12 +0000

HI JIMMY!!

I don’t see why the poetry and porn should be mutually exclusive pursuits for the site. Maybe Old Hag could start a daily pornographic haiku feature:

Geese rising —
Like her shirt
When she flashes her tits.

By: A friend writes...

A friend writes... — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 17:32:49 +0000

Recipes, recipes. This is, like, the only literary website I know that doesn’t include recipes. Honestly, how are we supposed to EAT.

Eating is the new reading.

By: altehaggen

altehaggen — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 14:36:02 +0000

Oh, also–we believe you can vote as many times as you want if you clear your cache. Our traumatic and emotionally stunting youth, in which we had to choose one box to check for race, compels it.

So, you know, one more victory for porn.

By: altehaggen

altehaggen — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 14:33:03 +0000

Just vote with your hand, Jimmy.

JESUS it is early to be starting in here….

By: Jimmy Beck

Jimmy Beck — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 14:31:55 +0000

Why can’t I vote for poetry AND porn?

Oh, and: HI CAAF!

By: CAAF

CAAF — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 13:38:28 +0000

Write-in: A feature called Old Hag Breaks It Down, where you write whatever your sweet fancy dictates on the topics of our time.

Possible topics:
Old Hag Breaks It Down: Norman Mailer
Old Hag Breaks It Down: Author Photos
Old Hag Breaks It Down: Is Ermine A Good Look for Evening?

And of course:
Old Hag Breaks It Down: How Cute Is My Nephew?

You will need a little graphic glyph for this feature.

Also: A vote for Old Hag Presents Great Literary Juggs for the porn seekers.

By: David

David — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 06:20:54 +0000

Sorry, I didn’t mean to vote here; I was trying to vote on a porn site.

By the way, weren’t you supposed to be a poet or something?