England has always reveled in its drawing-room dramas, from Jane Austen’s social minefields to E.M. Forster’s Howards End to Upstairs, Downstairs — and yes, the blockbuster Downton Abbey. John Lanchester’s brilliant Capital, set on a once-ordinary London block whose housing prices have skyrocketed, has the distinction of being the first brick-and-mortar novel set squarely in our current times.
We’ll continue parsing keyword strings, whatever happens. Don’t worry–you’re welcome!
Posted by Lizzie on 01/22/07
The Old Hag is busy. Bizzzeee bizzzeee bizzzeee. But we have so much work we might dieseveral new plans for the site, so we thought we’d take three or four hours and install a poll plugin from the Czech Republic to better assess your needs and desires in the new year. We don’t care that much about your answers; it’s just that we want you to acknowledge HOW AWESOME THIS FREAKING POLL IS IT’S INTEGRATED INTO WORDPRESS WITH AJAX AND EVERYTHING. And, actually, we do care. Your thoughts will have a radical effect on the three or four posts here you see before August.
UPDATE: Okay, you fuckers–more answers to your dreams later, but for now:
Write-in: More pictures of your cute nephew!
Everybody needs more Czech ajax.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to vote here; I was trying to vote on a porn site.
By the way, weren’t you supposed to be a poet or something?
Write-in: A feature called Old Hag Breaks It Down, where you write whatever your sweet fancy dictates on the topics of our time.
Possible topics:
Old Hag Breaks It Down: Norman Mailer
Old Hag Breaks It Down: Author Photos
Old Hag Breaks It Down: Is Ermine A Good Look for Evening?
And of course:
Old Hag Breaks It Down: How Cute Is My Nephew?
You will need a little graphic glyph for this feature.
Also: A vote for Old Hag Presents Great Literary Juggs for the porn seekers.
Why can’t I vote for poetry AND porn?
Oh, and: HI CAAF!
Just vote with your hand, Jimmy.
JESUS it is early to be starting in here….
Oh, also–we believe you can vote as many times as you want if you clear your cache. Our traumatic and emotionally stunting youth, in which we had to choose one box to check for race, compels it.
So, you know, one more victory for porn.
Recipes, recipes. This is, like, the only literary website I know that doesn’t include recipes. Honestly, how are we supposed to EAT.
Eating is the new reading.
HI JIMMY!!
I don’t see why the poetry and porn should be mutually exclusive pursuits for the site. Maybe Old Hag could start a daily pornographic haiku feature:
Geese rising —
Like her shirt
When she flashes her tits.
Whatever we do
We can surely also do
Mostly from behind.
Bien?
“Welcome, visitors,
To ‘The Old Hag,’ your web source
For hot seXXXtinas.”
Nothing better than hot Provencal-on-Japanese verse form action.
I’ll show it to my friend. He’s the poetry critic for the Times!
Okay, I SHOWED it to the guy from the Times, and he said he liked it, except you shouldn’t have two “hot”s so close together.
Everyone’s a critic.
Of bulbous cocks and breasts flashed once or twice
Whether verbal, visual, even thrice
Ardent license to us, our seed spilled neat
The readers clean, exhume the need to beat
How great this form! Vacillate line sans eight! K-Y!
The safeword’s worth, less Alex and rhino to tie
Bukkake, spurt! Lips blurt! And have them come on rye!
You know, I really do rhyme something with K-Y in a syllabic.
I’m not a good person.
I suspect you and David of counting syllables; are you guys counting syllables? Mine’s only 5/7/5 in the original Japanese.
Ed, I’ll have mine on pumpernickel.
You say it like we’re counting cards.
Some folks are counters;
Other folks are non-counters.
It’s cool, grasshopper.
(and hi, Carrie, hope you’re doing well)
And this is why I
opted not to be a damn
litblogger. Perverts.
Porn and poetry:
I am typing this haiku
With only one hand.
[...] the results of our first offical Old Hag Reader Can You Even Handle This Action Survey are in and….wow! You guys absolutely do not have enough to do. You should get on that. But we [...]