The Paper Chase

Posted by Lizzie on 09/30/05

Our sister just asked us to bring home a bunch of our non-recycled New Yorkers for Rosh Hashona, which reminds us not only of the eighty or so we haven’t read yet, but of the eighty others we tossed in the bathroom garbage after making sure we’d read what we wanted just to get them the hell off of our plate. We’re feeling a terrible ache about giving those unread ones up, yet the sight of them is so guilt-inducing, that, however hard, we’re going to follow the edict of simply chucking anything you haven’t accomplished in six months* in the interest of sanity. In other news, we’ve filled out 39 forms filing for payback even though we’re fairly sure we own no copyrights and, if we do, are due about $67, and we’ve spent the past two days in Xeroxing hell, assembling our puny life accomplishments into a pile of collated splendor for the edification of those who probably want to go home and watch America’s Next Top Model. (Okay, we’re projecting there.) We have a pile of sixty-thousand review copies, and all we want to do is reread Wharton and Forster, with some Candace Bushnell in for good measure (if anyone will send us a review copy of Lipstick Jungle too, that is). The book already written has triggered an avalanche of anxiety over the books not yet even vaguely approaching a heap of notes. When you’re reduced to a pile of quivering jelly over something David Remnick did, either the meds are not working or it’s time to take a break (probably both). We’ll be back once the flap copy seems less accusatory. We’ve also got some wonderful guest-bloggers lined up, who will undoubtedly have more to share than a paroxysm of guilt over completely self-induced, insignificant items. Or, at least, they will bust out with some different items. Smell you later.

* Boy, do we love us some Lifehacker. However, it is designed for those who can ruthlessly reduce even the most inconsequential aspects of their lives to shining efficacy. We, as we clearly stated above, CANNOT EVEN GET THROUGH OUR NEW YORKERS. They rhapsodize over Moleskine notebooks, we second-guess what we’ve eaten for breakfast. They have this thing called Quicksilver, we have this thing called an angry God. Still, we enjoy watching them, like one yearns for the swank IKEA kitchen of the neighbor across the way while contemplating one’s own battered frying pan. Lifehacker**, can you design some task-management system for those who regret what hasn’t even happened yet? We mean, for writers? Thanks.

** We send these pleas out to Gina all the time and think she either assumes we are joking (untrue) or is totally not reading us (true). But writers need help. Seriously, we’re the blind leading the blind over here. Get some of those Moleskine people on it, stat.

Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: |