The Old Three French Hens
Posted by Lizzie on 12/16/05
Today’s reading: The Living Ain’t Easy; Or, The Men in T-Muffle’s Life (Don’t know WTF this is about? Click here.)
YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ROB WALKER*. He is a POLYMATH, a GENIUS, a boomin’ WORDSMITH, and, apparently, so nice it is impossible to hate him as thoroughly as anyone so talented should be duly despised. This portrait of New Orleans was so wonderful it made us laugh, cry, call things “portraits”, and experience that warm cornucopia of feeling Oprah apparently partakes of on a second-to-second basis. Best non-annoying meta press release ever too, which shall be included.
* Rob’s web site? Oh yeah! It’s WC3 compliant, HTML 4.01 Transitional, validating CSS, baby!
Tom Piazza‘s books both come so highly recommended by a dear friend of ours, we are self-prying them out of our own hot little hands to get them to you in time for the New Year. Don’t worry about us; we’ll just get our friend drunk and steal his copies — maybe some leftover Chinese, too — when he’s not looking. Mmm. Chinese.
Theme: We Roux the Day
We’re sad to say, we only had a chance to visit New Orleans once. Our mother’s grandmother was born and raised in Plaquemine, though, and passed down her incomparable recipe for gumbo to the family. Let us explain something to you about gumbo, people. It is not that watery, tomato-strewn gruel brimming with three brine shrimp you get throughout the rest of the country. It is thick. It is rich. It has more sealife than the Baltimore Harbor. AND IT IS NOT RED.
It is brown.
Okay, so the color of gumbo is where we put our foot down. We know you, too, know of food items only prepared properly in one damn place. We’re talking rye bread and brisket in the Bronx. We’re talking Chinese in the Bronx. We’re talking… GODAMMIT WE WERE GOING TO SWITCH TO CONNECTICUT BUT NOTHING CULINARY IS GOING DOWN IN CONNECTICUT. Okay, whatever. We’re talking gimme the hootch you’ll only drink in your corner bar. (No grandma’s stuffing, grandma’s boys.)
Filed under: Lit-ish |
Bratwurst outside of Wisconsin is just crap. It is a delicacy, not a grey, soggy turd like the rest of the country prepares
Comment by Tom — 12/16/2005 @ 1:46 pm
Pabst: We drink it because we like it and it’s cheap, not because hipsters in Williamsburg use the cans as some kind of accessory.
Comment by Tom — 12/16/2005 @ 1:56 pm
The fish taco is our local speciality, imported from nearby Baja California. But while you can get a carne asada burrito lots of places, it seems that many parts of California adulterate it with rice and beans and cabbage and sour cream and such. Here, it is just meat, meat drippings, a smear of guacamole and a smattering of pico de gallo. There is simply no finer food at 3 a.m. – leftover Chinese notwithstanding.
Comment by Lickona — 12/16/2005 @ 2:22 pm
I should note that “here” is San Diego.
Comment by Lickona — 12/16/2005 @ 2:23 pm
I will only drink Milwaukee’s Best and eat fried ramps in Morgantown, West Virginia. But it’s not as if people are tripping over themselves to offer them to me here.
I will only drink straight vodka in (certain) people’s homes or at bars and restaurants within the territory of the former Soviet Union (or Warsaw Pact countries in a pinch). Vodka must be very cold and it must be chased with an appropriately salty and smelly foodstuff.
Comment by Kate Dino — 12/16/2005 @ 9:57 pm
In Amsterdam: jenever (the famous Dutch courage: high alcohol content and low price) accompanied by rollmops.
Comment by Isabella Massardo — 12/17/2005 @ 4:44 am
Attention, Cosi: bagels are NOT SQUARE. Never. Ever.
Attention, Bess Eaton Donuts (what was I thinking?): bagels are not round mushy rolls with slight indentations in the middle. Not even close.
Attention, Texas: bagels do not squish. They are firm from boiling. If they have not been boiled and squish when you squeeze them, they are not bagels.
All of you: FIND ANOTHER NAME FOR YOUR ODD BREAD PRODUCT.
Comment by Genevieve — 12/29/2005 @ 5:17 pm
(If that wasn’t clear enough – I no longer eat bagels outside of serious bagel-producing areas, or areas that import proper bagels. Though I technically live in the south, we have a Brooklyn Bagel Bakery here that has the real thing. But Texas and Connecticut are now Non-Bagel Consumption Areas.)
Comment by Genevieve — 12/30/2005 @ 1:18 pm