Perhaps it’s just that God loves us, and doesn’t want us to spend $130 on a $5 strip of cotton

Posted by Lizzie on 02/17/05

Thank you, Lucky magazine, for featuring the one skirt I’ve ever liked and making it FUCKING UNAVAILABLE EVERYWHERE.

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We can’t believe we just called the Peace Corps a “junket”

Posted by Lizzie on 02/10/05

Sorry we were so lame today. We had nothing to say, and will probably have less tomorrow, since we have to mop the apartment and get all our documents in order for this, which we hope will facilitate our applying for grants and residencies and such. Someone just told us that the Peace Corps was a haven for potheads and slackers, and we’re not missing out on any crunked out junkets ever again. If you ever want to apply for anything and get the hell out of your Aeron chair into a less miserable life, we cannot say enough good things about Interfolio, which (we hope) actually makes sending out a full-scale wrap up of your formative years as easy as buying our book on Amazon. *

* Don’t all feel like you should buy our book on Amazon, now. We get nothing. We’re trying to work out some linkola from Interfolio, though, if only because it sounds even dirtier than Penvy. Back Monday, cheers, etc.

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Or that involve a lot of cooking–the baked Ziti really is the end and the beginning

Posted by Lizzie on 02/09/05

Last night, the BOOG 1) helped assemble an enormous IKEA entertainment center we’d liberated from our friends, then 2) replaced the interior liquid crystal screen on our laptop all by his lonesome in something like 47 minutes. (We’d kicked it on the floor, apparently a no-no.) The BOOG desPISES Macs, because you need a “Mac Tool” to replace iPods, whereas for IBM you can apparently just order shit on eBay and replace it with directions posted by some techie in Sweden or something. It really was easier than assembling the entertainment center, which threatened to dowel us into oblivion. Our point is, we’re not sure what we can possibly offer in return….baked Ziti? A carton of Marlboros? Our skills are limited. Feel free to suggest ideas that don’t make us seem like a big whore.

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This from the person who insists he does not need vegetables because he takes them in tablet form

Posted by Lizzie on 01/29/05

What does it say about your girlfriendly skills when your bent over, wracked-with-coughing mate is forced to bring up this on his laptop to make sure that you do not torture him once again with the violet crimson liquid Robitussen that you hold so dear?

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In which a life is reduced to folders on AOL

Posted by Lizzie on 01/25/05

Today at work it seemed far more important to arrange our AOL saved mail* into neat categories in the newly discovered folder function** than to do any work or anything, partly because our laptop screen at home now bears a striking resemblance to this***. Apparently our life is comprised of these categories:

Cheryl stuff (our dear aunt who died, for whom we are creating a website)
AWP stuff (hotel reservations for a conference at which we’re participating on a panel entitled “Beyond Judy Blume: The Joys and Challenges of writing Young Adult Fiction)
Addresses (you may receive some sort of paper communication from us at some point. Sorry. Whoops. We think we put some of these in…)
….Contacts, socializing, etc. (amusing things said by people we drink with)
Family (we have one)
Book Thing (go here, give money)
Old Hag (nothing of consequence)
Interfolio (thank you, Scott McLemee, for leaving your job and introducing us to Interfolio, a good dossier service that makes up for the fact that Hopkins University are cheap bastards who don’t provide one for Master’s students.
Business Shite (parking tickets that I’ve paid for online and for which I want to retain proof. J. Crew orders, too.)

This all seemed very unexcited, so we added:

Exciting Vacations

It only has a lone email about Lake Arenal in Costa Rica, but we have high hopes.

* Don’t scoff at our AOL. We’ve had a free media account since 1996, which we think just about makes up for the now-defunct Time Digital never paying us $400 for an article on teen sites on AOL. That’s, like, a free million dollars. Take THAT, Yahoo freaks.
** Yes. We were under the impression that the web mail program didn’t have a folder function, even though there’s never been a mail program in the history of time that hasn’t. But since AOL has only allowed you to save mail permanently on the web last year, we’re sticking with our story.
*** Moorish Girl and I recently had a conversation about whether it’s better to have a boyfriend who’s a computer nerd or a talented chef (clearly, both are optimal, but I believe chefs are generally too stoned to attend to fried motherboards). The BOOG spent ten minutes online last night and declared he could reconfigure the laptop with a revived and reconstituted liquid crystal screen or something. We have no idea what this means, but fuck chefs.

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