More free books, not that you deserve it
Posted by Lizzie on 06/02/07
UPDATE: Who has more alphabetical readers than O.H.? NO ONE, that’s who. There were many wonderful anagrams and reasons (anagreasons) for winning (I’m particularly fond of “Zule’s knicker habit”, because I think I have that), but I was most taken by the flat-out following:
I’m writing you because I’m desperately trying to win a box of mystery books. I was going to try to write something clever and funny. Something about being locked in an old cold house , with only the hope of books for distractions. Then it started sounding kind of depressing and we don’t want that.
Yes we do! I am totally a sucker for that! Congratulations, Kami–your books are on the way. You better not be some fake person who will turn around and sell them on eBay. Everyone else, thanks for entering–believe me, there are about 57 more moves scheduled in the next year.
It occurs to me that O.H. readers have benefited perhaps somewhat unduly from my propensity to change houses more often than an F.B.I. informant. BUT–lucky you–I am changing houses yet again, and I have a stack of new books that, let’s be real, I am either NEVER going to read (1/2), already have in my possession (3/8), or have misjudged and will regret giving you (1/8). That’s 1, right? Anyway, I was going to give you all my itinerary and ask you good places to go along it during the next few months, but then I realized it would be creepy to have my itinerary online. So I simply ask, contestants–why should you get this box of books?* If you are stumped, submit an anagram of my real name. I am always doing anagrams of my friends’ names but I have never been able to do a good one of mine.
Contest ends MONDAY 12 sharp! Or EOD, depending on how far I get cleaning the bathroom. You can put your answer in the comments, but you also MUST email me your address and same comment name separately to theoldhag@theoldhag.com so I can mail it from THIS LOCATION. I promise you: your address will not become part of my itinerary. Mauritius, I always enjoy your entries and one day we will figure out how you can win without it costing $6.5 million dollars.
Good luck!
* It is actually a good one: Ferris, Sharpe, Palahniuk, etc.
Filed under: in it to win it, Lit-ish | Tags: books are company, get a hobby |
Here are the reasons why I am worthy of your free books. I have exactly one more week of work before summer vacation. I have managed to barrel through my book queue, and soon I’ll be left with nothing to read. Ultimately this means that I’ll have no choice but to address the many cosmetic shortcomings of my house. And what fun is that? Besides, I’m also desperate to start up my very own rogue lit review blog, so I too can influence the masses on what they should and should not read. I’m kidding about this last one.
The end.
Comment by mellowbarking — 6/3/2007 @ 10:26 am
Oh, god, I already have a stack of books on my nightstand it’s going to take me a year to get through, but you’ve stirred my competitive instincts. E-mail forthcoming.
Comment by Mrs. Kennedy — 6/4/2007 @ 12:57 am
Elizabeth Skurnick I don’t know if you have a middle name or not, but here comes the anagram.
The Brazen luck, I ski.
It’s Something a young Sherpa on Himalayan slopes might say. :)
Comment by thelazycodger — 6/4/2007 @ 9:02 am
It’s about time I got some good news, like: TA DA! HERE”S A BOX OF BOOKS EXPECIALLY FOR YOU! You’ll only give me good stuff, right. And I’ll be sure to donate anything I don’t like to the Friends of the Library Sale. It’s myh turn, goddamit!!!!
Comment by ann — 6/4/2007 @ 12:14 pm
“I shit zebra knuckle.”
The Sherpa’s gone hypoxic, I fear.
Comment by Antoine Wilson — 6/4/2007 @ 12:49 pm
This is far too late, but here are some anagrams, regardless.
Lizzie Skurnick:
I run, kick, sizzle
Sir Kiki Nuzzle
Elizabeth Skurnick:
sizeable trick hunk
Hark, sick Belize nut
Zule’s knicker habit
Elisabeth Skurnick:
untrickable sheiks
Comment by Ben — 6/4/2007 @ 5:18 pm
Sizeable trick hunk that you are
I bet you’ll have no trouble moving.
Maybe you’ll get to urbanize trick elk
at the new place.
Comment by lw — 6/4/2007 @ 5:40 pm
No one will “get” your box of books like I do. We were made for each other, your box of books and I.
Comment by DJ Cayenne — 6/5/2007 @ 11:24 am
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m so happy. My summer will not be lost. And, I’m not even quite sure how you use ebay, so you don’t have to worry about that.
Comment by kami — 6/5/2007 @ 1:39 pm
WHAT?! Kami is totally lying! Who doesn’t know how to use E-bay? Those books belong to me!! .
Comment by mellowbarking — 6/5/2007 @ 3:14 pm
Well, I totally missed it. That’s my punishment for not visiting TOH for so long, damnit.
And Mauritius will become Malaysia in a month; university. May well cost a couple of million dollars less, what do’u say?
HA!
Comment by Khalil A. (aka Mauritius) — 6/8/2007 @ 3:13 am