Comments on: Free Books, Free Books, Kill Me Now

By: CAAF

CAAF — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 23:32:24 +0000

A friend of mine’s son, age 2, likes to say, “Hi, I’m Big Boy Dash — do you want to know me?”

Incidentally, this is the same line Jimmmy uses.

By: altehaggen

altehaggen — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 22:56:19 +0000

So I guess I’m just going to go ahead and observe that the lines are better BEFORE THEY SLEEP WITH YOU.

ladies and gentleman, an actual old hag relation. Now you know it’s CATCHING.

By: mervis

mervis — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 22:52:25 +0000

A couple of weeks ago my girlfriend and I started making out in her kitchen. I dragged her into her bedroom by her panties and somehow we wound up standing on her bed. Then she pushed me down and back, at the same time coming forward to get on top of me. My knee went up into her chin and I wound up chipping her front tooth.

A few days later I sent her a Valentine’s Day text message:

“Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a filthy slut. And I’m going to smash your teef up.”

By: Khalil A.

Khalil A. — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 18:17:53 +0000

“With every drop of rain, you know I love you moreeeee…”

That’s Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam, right? Right? Yeah, ok, who cares; it rocks!

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 17:50:30 +0000

I know it’s too late for the contest, but…

He said, “I’m going to woo you. I’m going to woo you and I’m going to win you.”

How could I resist a man who used the word woo?

By: Casey

Casey — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 19:16:10 +0000

From a facial plastic surgeon, on a blind date:

“I wouldn’t change a thing about your face.”

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 17:42:50 +0000

Worst line I used on a guy that actually worked:

“Make it worth my while.”

By: superfanny

superfanny — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 02:18:51 +0000

The best line I ever used on a guy:

After getting a light from a stranger in a bar, I gave him a kiss.

Then I said, “If I did that for fire, can you imagine what I’d do for water?”

It rained that night, so he never found out….

By: sarah

sarah — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 00:27:34 +0000

[in discussion of whether we should get another round...]

Me: I dunno, how drunk are you?

Him: Drunk enough to make a pass at you.

By: shannon

shannon — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 22:14:48 +0000

Some of my most beloved faves from men I grew to adore:

Upon the arrival of a first date: “I’ve got reservations at three restaurants, today’s movie listings and two hundred bucks in my pocket. My buddy’s having a barbeque. Or I’ve got a cold case of beer and a tape of Sly and the Family Stones Greatest Hits. Whatever you want to do. I just wanted to go out with you.”

I like you. I’m not sure how else to say it.

The bartender said you had amazing breasts.

When I wake up tomorrow, I may not want to call you. And when I call you, you may not want to go out with me. But I’m gonna call, so you should think of what you’re gonna wear.

By: Old Hag

Old Hag — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 20:15:07 +0000

Oooo, a man! Jimmy, real line please. Or I will reveal your real name.

By: Jimmy Beck

Jimmy Beck — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 17:51:59 +0000

I’m gonna try the amber line on Mrs. Beck–I’m thinking it’s a home run.

By: Old Hag

Old Hag — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 16:02:24 +0000

I guess it’s more gallant than not asking at all.

By: Kate Dino

Kate Dino — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 15:52:04 +0000

I have been married too long to remember any of the lines my swains used to employ. I suppose that “You wanna be on top tonight?” is not going to be a contender.

By: altehaggen

altehaggen — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 03:56:07 +0000

Mom, you’re not allowed to comment if you do not actually read what the challenge is. Next time, I’m recalling one of your advanced degrees.

By: Mom

Mom — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 00:40:05 +0000

comment by altehaggen at age 4: All roads are connected.
another comment by altehaggen, maybe age 6: There is only one universe.

By: Carleen

Carleen — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 22:35:51 +0000

“Thinking of you, but very little.”

It was a note in a collection of James Baldwin essays that my now-husband gave me when we were dating after I asked him to slow things down because he was too intense.

He moved in a month later and we married two months after that.

By: Laura

Laura — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 20:27:39 +0000

Friend of a friend at the end of a very long Preakness Day:

“You’re really attractive, and I thought that even before I was drunk.”

Strangely, it was like a little time bomb. Utterly indifferent at the time, I decided ten months later that he was attractive even when he WAS drunk, which was often.

I was wrong.

By: tayari

tayari — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:36:00 +0000

“Trap me in your amber”

By: Imani

Imani — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 19:40:01 +0000

Ok, a friend reminded me of this one that happened at Starbucks. Also with a children’s book, coincidentally enough, but no boobs comment so not quite as awesome.

German-old-enough-to-be-my-father: Ah, what are you reading there?

Me: “The Chronicles of Narnia”. I’m reading it before the movie comes out.

German: It has a very nice cover. And what a big book! You must be very intelligent, ah?

Me: uuhh…right

German: Maybe we could have a nice night, you could teach me about lions?

Me: *coffee spew*

I don’t know if that one was a pick-up line either. I’m sure the sight of coffee and whipped cream sprinkled on his notepad and the rest on my chin didn’t do me any favours.

Polite on the street? I’ve had polite in the grocery store.