(Click to enlarge…and be enlightened!)
So the results of our first offical Old Hag Reader Can You Even Handle This Action Survey are in and….wow! You guys absolutely do not have enough to do. You should get on that. But we were unsurprised to find that, in planning the rest of our year, a) most of you wanted us to do reviews for which we do not get paid; 2) pretty much the same amount of you were perverts, lazy, in love with Leonardo Dicaprio, or poetry-seekers (hard to choose, right?); 3) Podcasts and Pride & Prejudice people insisted on being tediously alliterative, 4) almost the same amount of people wanted more real-world reviews as didn’t know who we are. That’s fine; the people who read the reviews don’t know who we are either.
Since you apparently have nothing better to do than hang around here and click on things, you won’t mind if we take these one by one.
Coming; we have a few real-world reviews first and then it’s going to all happen for you.
2. Real-World Reviews
Coming; don’t care if you want ’em
Incoming shortly; check out our porn haiku in the meantime.
5. More Leo fakeouts
Duh. Done. DIRTY LEO. Grrrrr.
6. Who is Old Hag?
7. Pride & Prejudice
Fucking done….most ardently!
8. Seriously, who is Old Hag?
9. We avoid working
10. Porn? No porn?
We’re the only pervert around here, sorry. But here’s that Old Hag/Young Woman picture all the rest of you are looking for.
11. More pics of adorable nephew (Write-In)
We’ll do you one better. Three things to note: a) This might take a sec to load; b) yes, that is Marketwatch; it’s never too early, and c) seriously, you might die. DIE!