The Ivy Lede: Or, Stop Entering Your Own Contests

Posted by Lizzie on 04/07/08

We had many wonderful entries for our David Samuels giveaway, where the challenge was to find a name for when book reviewers talk about themselves for, like, eight hours before sidling around to the book in question, though generally not before mentioning that they graduated Yale in 1995, Pierson College, no laude but their history teacher wrote them a nice recommendation and so did their English teacher. Say. However, I liked so many of these entries I found myself unable to do more than whittle them down to my three faves. Now it is up to YOU and my POLL PLUGIN to do the rest, readers! Please give a click to the best entry. FYI, there is absolutely nothing to prevent you from voting over and over again. Citizens of Florida and Michigan, I suggest you take maximum advantage of this opportunity.

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Voting ends Wednesday!

Filed under: General, in it to win it, polls | Tags: , | Comments (1)

[Your Joke Here; We're Tired; This Was a Long Post]

Posted by Lizzie on 02/14/07

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(Click to enlarge…and be enlightened!)

So the results of our first offical Old Hag Reader Can You Even Handle This Action Survey are in and….wow! You guys absolutely do not have enough to do. You should get on that. But we were unsurprised to find that, in planning the rest of our year, a) most of you wanted us to do reviews for which we do not get paid; 2) pretty much the same amount of you were perverts, lazy, in love with Leonardo Dicaprio, or poetry-seekers (hard to choose, right?); 3) Podcasts and Pride & Prejudice people insisted on being tediously alliterative, 4) almost the same amount of people wanted more real-world reviews as didn’t know who we are. That’s fine; the people who read the reviews don’t know who we are either.

Since you apparently have nothing better to do than hang around here and click on things, you won’t mind if we take these one by one.

1. Speedreaders
Coming; we have a few real-world reviews first and then it’s going to all happen for you.

2. Real-World Reviews
See “Speedreaders”

3. Podcasts
Coming; don’t care if you want ‘em

4. Poetry
Incoming shortly; check out our porn haiku in the meantime.

5. More Leo fakeouts

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Duh. Done. DIRTY LEO. Grrrrr.

6. Who is Old Hag?
Nobody

7. Pride & Prejudice
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Fucking done….most ardently!

8. Seriously, who is Old Hag?
Nobody

9. We avoid working
Q.E.D.

10. Porn? No porn?
We’re the only pervert around here, sorry. But here’s that Old Hag/Young Woman picture all the rest of you are looking for.

11. More pics of adorable nephew (Write-In)
We’ll do you one better. Three things to note: a) This might take a sec to load; b) yes, that is Marketwatch; it’s never too early, and c) seriously, you might die. DIE!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5236047940799681468

Filed under: blog in the day, Lit-ish, poesie, polls, the hottness | Tags: , , , , , | Comments (3)

We’ll continue parsing keyword strings, whatever happens. Don’t worry–you’re welcome!

Posted by Lizzie on 01/22/07

The Old Hag is busy. Bizzzeee bizzzeee bizzzeee. But we have so much work we might dieseveral new plans for the site, so we thought we’d take three or four hours and install a poll plugin from the Czech Republic to better assess your needs and desires in the new year. We don’t care that much about your answers; it’s just that we want you to acknowledge HOW AWESOME THIS FREAKING POLL IS IT’S INTEGRATED INTO WORDPRESS WITH AJAX AND EVERYTHING. And, actually, we do care. Your thoughts will have a radical effect on the three or four posts here you see before August.

On Old Hag, I would like to see more...
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UPDATE: Okay, you fuckers–more answers to your dreams later, but for now:

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Filed under: polls | Tags: | Comments (22)