America, believe us: You won’t be so thrilled after he knocks you up with 5 little Iraqs

Posted by Lizzie on 11/03/04

bushkerryIn an only semi-surprising act of stunning idiocy, America has, it seems, chosen the Frat Boy over the Debate Team President. America, think this through. Let us save you from a lifetime on the couch with your hair in curlers while your Prom King is out drinking with Putin.

FB: Fun to drink with.
DTP: Knows many useful facts, figures.

FB: Fun to drink with.
DTP: Will never ask to “borrow” 700 billion dollars.

FB: When drunk, may recite some “cheers”
DTP: When drunk, may speak in one of several languages

DTP: Wants to improve international relations

FB: Can still speak when drunk
DTP: Reads the paper

FB: Stole an election
DTP: Got a purple heart in Vietman

cheeerleader America, if you don’t choose him, he is going to marry the richest woman in the world. Maybe he had more going for him than you thought.

Filed under: The Man |