Bored already? We know. We can’t be of help, but if you scroll down on the left and read our new reviews, they will at least put you soundly to sleep. And if you MUST leave the house, drink two or three Cokes and head immediately over to get in line at the Housing Works Used Book Cafe, where, if you spend the night on the sidewalk, you might just get a chair for tomorrow’s panel on books and blogging.* Till we “run out of steam”? TILL THE BREAK OF DAWN, CHILE!
* We would just like to point out that we, in our deeply finite short-term wisdom, actually pitched one of the panel members today out of the blue. They were like, Yeah, Old Hag, why don’t we discuss after THE PANEL WE’RE ON TOMORROW TOGETHER? REMEMBER THE PANEL? REMEMBER READING ANNOUNCEMENTS ORGANIZERS SEND YOU? This is worse than the hermaphrodite thing. Cross-dresser. Whatever.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Tuesday, September 26, 2006 6:55 pm | |
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This may have been the hardest decision we’ve ever had to make. First off, obvs Hot Darcy Action Figure can and will not pass without notice (though we have deliberated long and deliberately on Darcy love and, despite the popular vote, currently love…love…LOVE Macfadyen). Still, that debate was a late-breaking addition to the book-snagging and occasioned by our quick-beating heart, not our decidery core. We must now turn ourselves to the assortment of linear worms, which, upon the contest’s close, immediately posed the following dilemma—what, exactly, were we in fact motherfucking judging? After much more decidery decideration, we finally settled on the following criterion: the worm that burrowed into OUR ear would be the worm that won.
“Online Gambling” came in strong with “Oh! you are a great deal too apt, you know, to like people in general. You never see a fault in anybody”. Next came the Cinetrix’s “N-T. Big difference,” followed by “Bil bol, wil wol”, followed by…you know what? ALL of them were good. But only one was ringing in our ear as we tramped up and down the staircase, sweaty, smelly and cardboard-toting:
“Utah! Get me two!”
Hence, our winners are:
1. Elizabeth, a.k.a. Bluepoppy, for the aforementioned, and*;
2. Melanie, a.k.a. nothing as far as we know, for the aforelinked.
Since we actually received ANOTHER set of Penguin books last week, both fab gals will win a random bunch, as well as an A Public Space tote and journal and various other works of wit and wisdom.
Melanie, Elizabeth, lend us your (lin)ears! Ha! Ha! We mean your addresses, so we can get these books the hell out of our car!
All of the Man of My Dreams winners will also receive their books now, too.
* We know. It may seem worrisome to choose a party who has previously interviewed the Hag. We would like to assure you that we have already generously compensated Ms. Poppy for that.
Posted by altehaggen in General @ Tuesday, September 12, 2006 11:59 am | |
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In the midst of our move, we forgot what day it was. Will post winners tomorrow.
Posted by altehaggen in General @ Monday, September 11, 2006 11:13 am | |
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…for the winner to the contest! We’re packing all weekend and then flying over to the UK to check in on MacFadyen. If all seems well there, we’ll just take the clotted cream and leave quietly. Back Monday.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Friday, September 8, 2006 11:01 pm | |
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In light of recent events—i.e., repeated viewing of Joe Wright’s Pride & Prejudice while wrapping china and disposing of battered underthings—it has become necessary for us to expand our contest to those who have no lines to offer but understand who is hot.
We’re not one of those readers who feel all agonized about the transition of beloved works from print to screen. (Actually, we’re lazy and soppy and frequently prefer them—see The Remains of the Day and Brokeback Mountain—except in the case of Little Women, off which grubby destroyers should keep their hands.) We certainly don’t prefer the BBC version of Pride & Prejudice to the novel, but a) it is a monumentally delightful and accurate rendering, and b) we never fully recovered from this and don’t expect we ever shall.
OR SO WE THOUGHT.
But…wait for it. Anyway, there are many things we enjoyed about the new P&P, not least the grubby olde English appearance of the cast, assiduously toothy, greasy and disheveled—save Kiera Knightley, who looks as if she’s wandered onto the heath from an afternoon at Sephora. We were also a sucker for the Beeth-faux-ven soundtrack, Brenda Blethyn, and Donald Sutherland, rockin’ out as pater familias with a big 24-who? on his forehead.*
BUT OMIGOD MATTHEW MACFADYEN.
Lord knows, we did not see that coming.
So here’s your challenge. In short, we’re not sure we can abandon Firth, but we’ve also rewound MacFadyen saying, “And why with so little endeavor at civility I must riposte” about 800 times. We need outside influence. We need judgement. We need—as ever—help.
We have presented for your viewing enjoyment identical scenes wherein which Elizabeth busts in on Darcy at Pemberley. Here is Darcy new, here is Darcy old. Hot proposal. Hot proposal in espagnol (Sorry). Some abomination the young people are doing now. Is this a “mashup”? Was this built on a “Mac”? Can we prosecute?
Anyway, what we would like you to do is make a cogent case for whether Firth or MacFadyen is hotter. It need not be an erudite argument. It can something as short as, “When Firth makes his serving-man yank on his clothes to run out to see Elizabeth, that is hot,” or “When MacFadyen looks at Elizabeth out of the corner of his eye for two seconds in the sitting room, that is hot.” Whoever finds the hottest moment is also entered to win. If you are stumped, simply go to the comments below and enter “Darcy.”**
*P.S., if you do own a DVD of the latest version, we highly recommend a second watching with the frequently hilarious commentary of director Joe Wright. Amidst the rapturous murmuring over the “revelation” of Kiera Knightley and the “beautiful voice” of MacFadyen, there’s the occasional, “Yeah, get the hell out of there,” each time Darcy bolts from the room, the noting of Elizabeth “checking out Wickham’s arse”, and the assessment that Mr. Collins boasting of having a “parsonage of no mean size” is “rude”. Don’t you love how, in Britain, “rude” means “dirty”? We love that.
** Not that you’re asking for it, but we wish we had an extra set of the Jane Austen reprints for which we wrote the back-cover copy to give away to you too. There one is. Cute, right? Oh well.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Thursday, September 7, 2006 1:11 pm | |
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We know, we know. It gets boring with the Hag. First, we’re “working”. Then, we’re “moving”. Then, for chrissakes–WE’RE MOVING AGAIN.* Through it all, it’s too much for us TO FREAKING BLOG ONCE EVERY EIGHT WEEKS OR SO. What can we say? We’ve been on the radio (scroll down and left), we’ve been reviewing (do it again), we have–we repeat–been “working”, we have been being a NEW AUNT, and it has become necessary, due to recent iTunes downloads, to spend a great deal of time here. (Speaking of which, are we the ONLY one to notice that the theme accompanying Kate-centered moments is an homage to Vertigo, and, incidentally, an exact replica of a leitmotif used in What Lies Beneath, which at least openly acknowledges its debt to Hermann? Anyone? Anyone?)
Anyway, since we’re getting rid of at least this many books in anticipation of a safe estimate of our post-Baltimore wall space, we’d like to give our loyal O.H. readers one last taste. Penguin is lovely enough to send us their fantastic list each season, and while we’re going to keep many for review, we still have a ton left over, plus a copy of the new lit mag A Public Space and a tote bag from same. We’ve been completely stumped on what kind of contest would be most suited to a move (we know we can’t hope for Urban Dictionary nods EVERY TIME), so we’ve just decided, apropos of our theme ear worm above, to go with lines from books (or movies, you lazy-asses) you’ve never been able to get out of your head. As in our first, best cry-list, we only want the line that pops into your head immediately. We’re not looking for great lines, particularly–no, “Yes to yes” or “stalks like the fingers of dead men”–just, for lack of a better word, linear worms. Think of it as a space to pass your worms on. How often do you get that chance? We know some of you have it every Tuesday in a certain rest stop in New Jersey, but leave some for the rest of us.
Here’s ours–inexplicably, from Terms of Endearment.
Emma Greenway: “I’ve finally found an answer to this hair nobody ever liked,” she said. “Radium is the answer.”*
There you are. Completely inexplicable, yet absolutely entrenched. Radium is the answer.
CONTEST RULES: Contest runs until midnight Friday, 9/8/2006. Big box of new, fab books absolutely gratis to winner.* Props to Penguin, which has launched an unprecedented era of fabulous reprints, and A Public Space, which has launched that rare bird: a good literary magazine. Some Litbloog Coop picks in there, too. You can enter anonymously, but if you win, you have to email us on the sly to claim your prize, since we are not psychic. Enter in the comments below, and, fellow litbloggers and bloggerati, spread the word–we NEED to get rid of these books!
* Oh, yes. We return to the big NY in late September. References required.
** Please don’t be from Europe. We mean, you can be, but try not to.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Sunday, September 3, 2006 12:35 pm | |
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