Delanguagizing the dictionary

Here’s the rule: if anyone in marketing, advertising or sales concepted it, it is not a word.

Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Monday, May 15, 2006 11:46 am | | Comments (4)

Wordfinders Giveaway Challenge

Andrew Ross Sorkin, who wrote the bylined Times piece, blamed it on a “stupid error” by Times desk editor.

Classy.

We know we’ve been away for awhile. That’s why you have to do some work. We will be giving away a free copy of some fancy book to be determined shortly to the person who finds the best word for the plagiarism search engine that will be arriving from Google in approximately three days, if this crap keeps up*. We’ll start you off:

Dupe-le
Stupe-le
Oops-le

See? You can do better than that. Have fun.

* We are aware of turnitin.com. Please do not post, “There’s already something called Turn it In, Hag! Have you fucking heard of Lexis Nexus? DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LIBRARIES?” Etc.

Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Tuesday, May 9, 2006 10:59 am | | Comments (12)

Attack!

Plagiarism, lying liars, and no more throwing down with Rushdie and Playmates: writers are under attack these days. My statemate, Garrison Keillor, joins in on Salon:

OK, let me say this once and get it off my chest and never mention it again. I have had it with writers who talk about how painful and harrowing and exhausting and almost impossible it is for them to put words on paper and how they pace a hole in the carpet, anguish writ large on their marshmallow faces, and feel lucky to have written an entire sentence or two by the end of the day.

It’s the purest form of arrogance: Lest you don’t notice what a brilliant artist I am, let me tell you how I agonize over my work. To which I say: Get a job. Try teaching eighth-grade English, five classes a day, 35 kids in a class, from September to June, and then tell us about suffering.

Alternatively, talk to the woman in a workshop I’m teaching this spring who’s a writer AND teaches fifth grade. AND is an Air Force reservist. Didn’t read her workshopmates’ stories this week: “I’m really sorry. Three of my students went off their meds this week.”

Alter-alternatively, talk to the woman who’s an assistant teacher in my three-year-old’s pre-school classroom, who, on the “meet the teachers” poster (filled with photos; think smiling faces with puppies and parents) has tacked up HER pictures from her Air Force reservist days–she was a dental technician–including one of her fully geared up in camo and gas mask: talk to her and ask her why she’s TOTALLY FREAKING OUT MY DAUGHTER AND HER TINY CLASSMATES. Like the dentist, or pre-school, isn’t scary enough.

(PS: So, who’s running this blog these days? It’s still TOH’s sandbox, kids; I’m still subbing; except on days we hand the wheel over to Garrison.)

Posted by liam callanan in General @ Friday, May 5, 2006 9:42 am | | Comments (0)

Your Upper Midwest Literary Calendar and Report

Flyover country my ass. (FoTOH returning here, just for a bit.)

The Midwest, the upper Midwest in particular: this IS literature. The Nick Adams stories? That Tim O’Brien story about almost fleeing the country to avoid the draft? Jim Harrison? F. Scott? Proust?

Well, true, I’m not sure about Proust — if only there were a worldwide network of interconnected computers that would allow me to look up biographical information on him (he’s a him, right?)– but let’s go to the real question you were about to ask: what’s with all the men? Where are the women?

They’re coming to town!

May 6, Woodland Pattern: SUSAN FIRER and MARY JO SALTER read at this wonderful poetry-focused bookstore. Susan will be fresh from her KGB reading in New York this week, and, if you’re lucky, Mary will read her most excellent poem, “Liam.”

May 8, Milwaukee, Schwartz Bookshops–their new Bayview location, Bayview being Milwaukee’s version of Brooklyn (except that Brooklyn doesn’t have a basilica built by Polish immigrants from marble repurposed from a demolished Chicago post office (why didn’t you click on that link? if you had, you would have gotten the most wonderful writing prompt ever, an online history of building a church that begins (as so many do), “Father Grutza purchases U.S. Post Office and Customs House in Chicago….“)): BETH ANN FENNELLY (Tender Hooks, Norton, 2004) reads from her new book of essays, Great with Child.

May 22, Brookfield, WI, Schwartz: CATHERINE GILBERT MURDOCK reads from Dairy Queen, “a debut novel full of humor, football, and dairy farming” — and, needless to say, a book so wonderful they named a nationwide ice cream chain after it.

May 23, Winnetka, IL, Bookstall: SUSAN RICHARDS SHREVE reads from her new book, A Student of Living Things. Is it a spellbinding summer read? Or a languorous literary treat? It’s both, and enough of your damn questions. Go to the reading and buy this beautiful book.

Why didn’t I include any author info from the Icebox of the Nation, International Falls, MN? Because I wasn’t sure how you would take this article from the Rainy River College (winner, US News & World Report’s Top Community College Names–Ever) newsletter, which begins, “Book burnings are underrated….” {Caveats: it’s a PDF file, it’s the last page of said file, it’s satire, it really is named Rainy River College.}

Back tomorrow with boy talk: a report on Richard Russo’s Monday visit to Milwaukee, which, like everything else here, was great.

Posted by liam callanan in General @ Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:01 am | | Comments (1)

Copy me!

Where’s TOH? Where’s the TOH’s guest-blogger? Shush. We’re both reviewing our manuscripts line by line to see what we can find in our work that we can accuse the accused Harvard sophomore plagiarist of copying.

Problem is, at this point, we’re going to have to take a number.

(When will we be back? Look: this takes time.)

Posted by liam callanan in General @ Tuesday, May 2, 2006 1:15 pm | | Comments (0)