Though Ryan Seacrest IS, in fact, totally gay

You know we loves us some found poetry. Barrelhouse has some f*ck&ing h!T c&m spam poetry, and has started a blog. It is, thank God, not particularly literary.*

* They are also apparently becoming as dorky as some bloggers we couldahemname.

Posted by altehaggen in General @ Wednesday, June 29, 2005 9:02 am | | Comments (17)

In other news, when Moody’s local drugstore closed, he vowed never to buy a toothbrush again — but reportedly is enjoying the new Rite-Aid and has even purchased some floss

I don’t know. Brigid was great at it, and I know certain people like Rick Moody sent in their resignations, contemporaneous with Brigid’s retirement or whatever, firing, how ever you want to characterize it. [Moody reportedly is pleased with Gourevitch's hiring and has rejoined the Review.] Rick Moody has given money. He gave us one last novella, which we are so excited about.

It doesn’t matter how excited we may be about Elizabeth Gaffney‘s new novel, Metropolis, the nonfictionization of the Paris Review, or Robert Birnbaum’s wondrous work in general: At the end of the day, it comes back to Rick Moody.

Posted by altehaggen in General @ 8:55 am | | Comments (0)

Target, shmarget

See, as usual, and AS WE KNEW, the BOOG was wrong. We’ve been spending all night stacking review copies on these operating on the theory that, as with clothes, we are far more likely to attend to things if they are beautifully arranged. However, we are QUICKLY realizing we easily need eight more, possibly forty. Unfortunately, a certain someone implied we were going overboard with five. Then again, LAST WEEK THEY WERE ON SALE. *

* These bookcases are kind of nice, by the way. You totally missed out.

Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Tuesday, June 28, 2005 9:19 pm | | Comments (1)

Christopher Lydon, we really did not know ye

Tonight, we were supposed to be on this show to once again espouse our very important and wide-ranging views on the topic of “Summer Reading.” The reputed “producer”, however, DID NOT CALL US BACK. We were totally prepared to add absolutely nothing to the conversation, but, as it is, you’ll have to make do with the lovely Maud, the Moby Dennis, the Sweet, Sweet Almond, and someone we don’t really know at all. While we’ve got your collective attention (somewhat less than that of the greater Boston area, but SO much more awesome), we’d like to recommend two former mentors’ excellent compilation of authors’ favorite works, This Is My Best*, the title of which was revised slightly from the earlier My Editor Hated It But I Will Goddamn Describe that Character’s Voice as Faintly Violet if I Want.

* Don’t you so want it to be “These Are My Best”? What are up with that?

Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ 7:28 pm | | Comments (6)

This is the part where we drunkenly say we love you, it’s the rotgut, and we’ll never do it again

We know we’ve had an alarmingly — well, not ALARMINGLY. Palpably, shall we say — diminishing run of posts lately hereabouts, which is to say, in fact, that we have not been posting. But it’s summer, and we like to be outside, working on our tan. And when we are not outside, we are inside, working on our task chair, which spins almost 90 degrees from side to side. Sadly, though, we’re not very smart, and about one slight turn to the left is all we can handle before we have to ask the intern to take over.

Anyway, though we know it’s annoying to act like you have a blog, disappear, then come back only to apologize, WE JUST DID IT. The last year has left our brain feeling somewhat s t r e t c h e d o u t, and, though we will soon write a long and delirious post about that, we’re lining up some guest bloggers to handle things until the largest organ in the body has had a chance to return to its natural snappy shape. We’re also in the midst of launching a grand project over the next couple of months that will make Old Hag look like something you peeled off the bottom of your shoe. (That’s not saying very much, but still.) You’ll be hearing more about that soon, and it may even INVOLVE you in some way, which you might like, since, though it will not involve presenting you with money, it will also not involve asking you for it.

If you’ve written to me in the last few weeks and we haven’t responded, we will soon, unless you’re a psycho or something. We will also try to get through the backlog of posts we’ve got hanging around. Some of you have been emailing us links of late, which makes our job very easy, even when we’re not really doing it. Feel free to keep doing that — and look for an increasingly haggish and leathery poster to return when the leaves turn day-glo orange and the people fade again.

Posted by altehaggen in Uncategorized @ 6:38 pm | Tags: | Comments (0)

Yet more laziness alert

Not that you care, but we will be away for a week and thus unable to keep not delivering the goods here in our daily fashion. We were going to set up a bunch of posts, but we forgot. You can’t reach us, but then you never really wanted to, anyway, right? Or so the psychologist says. Anyway, more in a score.

Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Saturday, June 18, 2005 10:03 pm | | Comments (0)

From Funniest Response Ever department

Yesterday, while I was getting out of the car in the parking lot, my skirt blew up completely, and the only other person in the parking lot, a weary man having a smoke, said, “Welcome to Baltimore.” I wanted to tell him we’d both been here awhile, but whatever.

Posted by altehaggen in Uncategorized @ Friday, June 17, 2005 11:44 am | Tags: | Comments (1)

Well, it is LA, after all

Foe means enemy and is also a play on the French word “faux,” which means fake.

Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ 11:39 am | | Comments (1)

Kudos to the intern who transcribed this!

Assorted reading recommendations from our appearance on this “radio” thing. We may become an even bigger dork and “podcast” it, as it is not archived. Related: Jimmy Beck, you are in trouble, and YOU KNOW WHY.

Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Friday, June 10, 2005 4:39 pm | | Comments (6)

If you’re a publicist, just say your name is Pubbly Cyst. They’ll never catch on

Dear All:

We will be appearing on the Marc Steiner show from 12-1 tomorrow, Wednesday, June 8, to discuss summer reading pics. You can listen on the WYPR website, or call in your fave reads at 410-662-8780. We know there was some controversy about our pick over at La Litblog Co-op, so here’s the chance for all you nutjobs to nominate greasy samizdats and shit.

Love,
Old Hag

Posted by altehaggen in General @ Tuesday, June 7, 2005 12:42 pm | | Comments (4)

Who is this “patient waiting,” anyway? Can he tell us where the bathroom is in this joint?

Not that we have been blogging a great deal anyway of late, but we’d like to let you know that we’ll be blogging even less this week, as we have to head off to a cocktail party, a dinner out, another cocktail party, and our ten-year college reunion, which will be more of the same, we assume. (We’ve already gotten one barbecue and good-bye party out of the way. Hi, Liam! Hi, John! Buy these men!) Anyway, we’re terrified, as it seems we have been slated to spend the next week in line for either a drink or the bathroom. We’re going to take heart from a recent rejection letter we received from a press whose name we won’t get into right now, though. You understand we had to change some of the words, but the sentiment comes through:

“The selection [of waiters and bathrooms] for this year’s [thing to which you have been invited] has been agonizingly difficult. The quality of the [people we invited] testifies to the vitality of [gathering people to drink and go to the bathroom] in an increasingly unmanageable and bellicose world.

“You must, of course, continue to believe fervently [that you will get a drink/go the bathroom eventually], and I hope that you can shrug off every disappointment knowing that the eventual rewards will be so much sweeter for the patient waiting.”

Posted by altehaggen in Uncategorized @ Wednesday, June 1, 2005 9:41 am | Tags: | Comments (2)