We’re going out of town for the rest of the week, so that’s the last of our piddling information for all three of you. Before we remind you once again to give, though, we would like to draw your attention to two wonderful works, John Rowell’s The Music of Your Life and Liam Callanan’s The Cloud Atlas (not the one you think), the latter of which is up for an Edgar — which pleases though perplexes the author, as it is apparently “not a mystery.” the author. We have no idea why we said it waas not a mystery; THAT, my friends, is the mystery. (B-more BFF Laura Lippman also has her last Tess Monaghan mystery By a Spider’s Thread in the running — the entire series is a must-must-read.) We had the distinct pleasure hearing these gentlemen read last night, then chatting with them about how much Sideways sucked and hookers and suchlike. Arthur Bradford was also there, and though he did not read, he is cuteNOT AS CUTE AS LIAM. Buy his book, too. What the hell, while you’re at it, buy my other friend Laura’s book, and visit her husband’s blog. We can’t think of anyone else to pimp right now, but we think this should be enough to fill King Wenclas with a bilious rage.
Posted by altehaggen in Uncategorized @ Thursday, February 24, 2005 1:00 pm | Tags: Charm City |
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We’ve never been able to get too worked up about the incestuousness of the poetry world. In the first place, the rewards are so piddling. (We just received the sum of $250 — yes, that’s $250 — for our upcoming chapbook, and while we are THRILLED about it, we’re going to repeat, $250). In the second place, there’s always a thin line between being helped by a mentor and insidercabalishpractices. Building contacts in any field is central to one’s success, so sayeth the sage.
That said, however, we love and revere Foetry, which is gearing up for a lawsuit against the apparently incestuous Iowa Short Fiction Awards, as well as their poetry counterpart. For the lucky un-poets out there, we’ll explain: almost all book publication in the poetry world occurs through contests, which the poet pays anything from $10 to $30 to enter. This is not because anyone’s raking it in, but because poetry makes no money and the contest proceeds support the publication of the winner. This year, for example, we spent about $400 in entry fees, which doesn’t include mailing or copying costs, which amounted to another $200 or so. For a pursuit that yields less profit than glass-blowing, this is an enormous outlay, and poets take it right in the sonnet (sorry). Hence, it is intensely irritating to repeatedly see graduates of the program in which the press is situated win. WHY DID YOU TAKE MY $20 THAT I COULD HAVE SPENT ON A FUCKING CRATE OF OODLES OF NOODLES, FUCKER? the poet must ask. Foetry’s watchdog lawyer explains more politely:
You may certainly award anything to anyone, as long as you do it out of your own private pocket. But the minute you request money from the public with the understanding that their work will be judged on its merits, free of all previous connections, relationships or contact between the entrant and the judge, you engage yourself to behave in a fair manner. When the result of your contest clearly illustrates that in reality you have a very short list of actual candidates for the prize, all of whom have an illicit connection to your university and with the judges, you are no longer acting in a fair manner.
If Gary and JoJo in the morning don’t let WXPR employees or relatives enter the fucking contest, neither should The University of Iowa. [via Maud]
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ 11:37 am | |
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There were people in our college with blond-ish dreadlocks who used to spend all day stoned, then write manifestos into the early hours, sometimes doing us the honor of showing them to us the next day. We believe these persons might appreciate the convenience and style of The Franklin Covey Mission Statement Builder, which uses Flash instead of schwag. [via Lifehacker, which we don't want to love, but we love]
Posted by altehaggen in WTF @ Wednesday, February 23, 2005 4:58 pm | |
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Simon & Schuster is bringing out “Rainbow Party,” by Paul Ruditis*, a young-adult novel about oral sex.
Really? It’s ENTIRELY ABOUT ORAL SEX?
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ 12:40 pm | |
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Bookslut’s fro-sporting Michael Schaub draws our attention to the unheretofore understood restroom-threat smut in libraries poses to children:
“I’m not going to let it lie,” she said. “Do we want to wait until a child is attacked or molested in a restroom? It’s not a matter of if but a matter of when.”
Clearly, the librarian has never read this countervailing theory, which proves patrons are OTHERWISE ENGAGED.
UPDATE: As much as I wanted that to be a fascist librarian, it was just a fascist council member, which is so much more pedestrian. The poop still holds, though.
Posted by altehaggen in WTF @ 11:48 am | |
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We don’t know how we missed this (ummm, because we never read anything except Allure?) but Miss Lindsay of Lindsayism had her first book review in the New York Post a few days ago, spanking the sense out of Elizabeth Mackenzie’s Stop That Girl: A Novel in Stories*.
While well written, the book exists mainly to answer the question, “What if a life in which almost nothing ever happens was documented by a writer with an MFA in fiction?” Unfortunately, this question has already been answered many times, and the outcome is rarely positive.
Guess we’re going to have to ditch that novel we’ve been working on. Fuck! If you would like to contribute to the dissemination of more novels that should never have been published**, go below and give, you bastards.
* We’ve never understood this, “A Novel In Stories” shit. Why not “The Shirt That Smells Okay: A Hamper-Diving in Laundering” or “The Whopper: A Steak in Hamburgers”?
** No, we are not going to stop plugging until you give, you goddamned bastards.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ 11:27 am | |
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Due to popular demand, we set up a PayPal address for you to send donations to keep The Book Thing of Baltimore alive with one click, you lazy bastards. Hit that button on the right, and your smallest or biggest donation — which is very, very welcome! — will help us reach our goal of a down payment on our new building. You’ve got about fifty more days of hearing about this once a week, by the way, so you might as well give up and give now. If you are suspicious, happy to spend ten minutes registering and think we’re buying Manolos with your hard-earned sawbucks, read our original plea below and give at Network For Good.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Tuesday, February 22, 2005 6:00 pm | |
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Not a day goes by that we don’t ask ourselves, What the hell happened to Stacey Richter, the author of the marvelous My Date With Satan,
so often and so unjustly coupled with the decidedly mediocre The Woman Who Cut Off Her Leg At The Maidstone Club? Well, we finally have our answer. The debut issue of the D.C. based Barrelhouse Magazine features new fiction from Richter, as well as some crap from Steve Almond and an interview with Emmylou Harris. We are very very excited, but we also want to caution these boys that we were TOTALLY the captain of our high school volleyball team, and it’s all over for them.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ 1:36 pm | |
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Well, why should the NYT get the title of Curtis Sittenfeld’s Prep right? It’s not like they’ve ever written about it or anything.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Monday, February 21, 2005 10:59 am | |
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Thank you, Lucky magazine, for featuring the one skirt I’ve ever liked and making it FUCKING UNAVAILABLE EVERYWHERE.
Posted by altehaggen in Uncategorized @ Thursday, February 17, 2005 10:48 pm | Tags: Moi |
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There is no day that Dooce is not funny, but we may have to get this tattooed on our forehead.
Posted by altehaggen in General @ 2:30 pm | |
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Publishers are increasing print size and paper stock to encourage people to take up this charming new activity, “reading”:
The innovation will also come as a relief to those authors who may have mistakenly felt that people were not buying their books because of something they had written.
Rather than being concerned about such old-fashioned literary gimmicks as plot, character and the careful choice of appropriate language, they must now recognised that the key to successful writing is to change the font size setting on their computer and to invest in some heavyweight paper at the stationers.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ 11:11 am | |
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A billion dollars to the person who can find the 80s softcover edition of Sandra Scoppettone‘s Happy Endings Are All Alike.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ 12:44 am | |
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Some people get high on crack. Other people hyperventilate over vintage Lois Duncan covers [scroll down to eighties]. *
* DON’T GET ME STARTED ON “THE GROUNDING OF GROUP 6.”
Sarah has the deets on that nice Princeton boy who grew up to imagine high school children being hurled down crevasses.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Wednesday, February 16, 2005 1:00 am | |
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We know we’re not really posting, but if you’ve never taken an English clothing survey, have a proper look at Boden’s USA’s. (Illustrative quote: “I have not yet bought from the Boden’s spring line because I have a baby/job loss/financial thingie.”)
Posted by altehaggen in WTF @ Tuesday, February 15, 2005 4:09 pm | |
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We promise that after this we will NEVER solicit our readers for anything*, but this is a worthy and bookish cause. For many years now we have been on the board of The Book Thing, an organization with a decrepit web site but an UNIMPEACHABLE mission: To give unlimited free books to everyone and anyone. Each week, The Book Thing recycles thousands of books**, both new, old, good, and bad, and redistributes them to the Baltimore community. Our lease is up on our nasty-ass, decrepit basement. We now have a chance to move to a new space that is not a nasty-ass, cramped basement, but we have to make the $60,000 down payment or The Book Thing will die. Many hifalutin’ charities have given large chunks, but we need your small chunks to make up the difference. (Like, $5 or $10 dollars, seriously.) The Book Thing has a donation clicker on its site, which you can also access here:
JUST GIVE TO THE BOOK THING
If you are at all disposed to do things by mail, which I really doubt you are, you can send a check for a million dollars made out to The Book Thing to:
The Book Thing
P.O. Box 2197
Baltimore, MD 21203
You can also hit the “Donate Now!” PayPal button on the top right of this page.
So you know we are not just using this to finance our trip to Antigua, you can read about The Book Thing — and view said decrepit basement! — here.
It’s just like Tink, except you have to give money instead of clap! So please take a moment and give any any amount, large or small.*** Fellow bloggers, or “web loggers”, if you would be so kind as to spread the word, or “meme”, that would be wonderful. We would have already sent you a bossy email to that effect, but we just realized our Neomail doesn’t allow bulk mailings. Lucky you. have sent you a bossy email. Lucky you!
We can promise you almost nothing in return, but if you ever come to Baltimore, we will put you up and let you drive away with a truckload of books. You can take as many copies of Iacocca as you like! ****
* Not unless you hang out by the docks, that is
** In case you’re wondering, the books people seem most disposed to give away are Iacocca and The Women’s Room. Sorry, Marilyn French.
*** If you are at all moved by the plight of poor urchins, know that countless arrive and depart for The Book Thing with boatloads of children’s books, which, if you didn’t know, are actually WAY expensive. If you are moved by the plight of obsessive weirdos who need to plough through dusty ephemera, we help plenty of those too.
**** We’re leaving this post up at the top, so if you want it to go away, JUST GIVE. Oh, yeah, we can use public radio scare tactics, too.
UPDATE: Listen to Andrea Seabrook report on The Book Thing here. Public radio AND public radio scare tactics.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Saturday, February 12, 2005 10:32 am | |
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It won’t quite make up for the social security death-gap, but knowing that Tom Wolfe AND Zane can get smacked down for narsty sex-chatter means at least the wet part of Martin Luther King’s dream endures:
Zane’s popularity rests in her total lack of taint. People want to read about sex almost as much as they want to watch it and have it, and if they can do so without appearing to be reading something smutty, all the better. I understand that maybe critics and readers were looking for an alternative to “glistening, blooming flowers” and “pulsating members,” but Zane’s novel is crude and unimaginative writing masquerading as urban erotica. There has to be better smut out there.
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ Friday, February 11, 2005 1:24 pm | |
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Not since the PC craze of the late 1980s and the launch of PC Resources magazine has a publication had such a promising start, says Husni. Naturally, he says, a debut of this magnitude begs the question: Can this trend sustain itself?
We’re just going to put our fingers in our ears and hum da da da da da over the topic of this article and state, once again, for the grammatical record, “begs the question” does not mean “raises the question” but instead means AVOIDS THE QUESTION, as in, beggars the question, as in LEAVES IT UNASKED (in this case, unfortunately, not “nonexistent.”)
Posted by altehaggen in Lit-ish @ 11:43 am | |
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Sorry we were so lame today. We had nothing to say, and will probably have less tomorrow, since we have to mop the apartment and get all our documents in order for this, which we hope will facilitate our applying for grants and residencies and such. Someone just told us that the Peace Corps was a haven for potheads and slackers, and we’re not missing out on any crunked out junkets ever again. If you ever want to apply for anything and get the hell out of your Aeron chair into a less miserable life, we cannot say enough good things about Interfolio, which (we hope) actually makes sending out a full-scale wrap up of your formative years as easy as buying our book on Amazon. *
* Don’t all feel like you should buy our book on Amazon, now. We get nothing. We’re trying to work out some linkola from Interfolio, though, if only because it sounds even dirtier than Penvy. Back Monday, cheers, etc.
Posted by altehaggen in Uncategorized @ Thursday, February 10, 2005 5:05 pm | Tags: Moi |
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